Does the majority have a responsibility to care about the sensitivities of the minority? That question is unanswerable without asking ourselves how much we care about social cohesion, maintaining trust and good will, and doing right by each other. The responses can be variable, dependent on our reading of the situation and where we are in our understanding.听
I remember the words of a First Nations friend whose career deals with questions of law and justice. 鈥淚n the end,鈥� he said, 鈥渋t鈥檚 all about the quality of our relationships.鈥� Abdu鈥檒-Bah谩, a strong believer in justice, would have agreed. He asked,听
"Is it possible for one member of a family to be subjected to the utmost misery and to abject poverty and for the rest of the family to be comfortable? 鈥� Such utter indifference in the human family is due to 鈥� a lack of kindness in its midst. "
Often in the news we hear of incidents that are insulting, hurtful and uncaring of racial, political or other groups. Depending on our particular background, experiences and beliefs, the behaviour itself may or may not be repugnant to us personally. Perhaps we agree with the opinion expressed, or perhaps we鈥檙e detached. If we鈥檝e never been the target of prejudice or can鈥檛 relate to something another holds sacred, we may wonder why others can鈥檛 maintain the same objectivity. But that misses the point. None of us are detached from the things we hold sacred. Traumatized cultures and groups whose lives or lifestyles have been threatened can鈥檛 be asked to be objective about their suffering.听
Ultimately, it comes down to how much we value kindness and caring in the community. Whether or not we share the particular hurt or repugnance others feel, we can choose to respect rather than disregard the heartfelt concerns of fellow citizens, regardless of age, race, sexual orientation or creed.
What if some don鈥檛 agree, or at least not in all cases? What if freedom of speech, secularism or some other value is cited as justification for speech or actions we find cruel or objectionable? It makes no sense to shame, bully or coerce one group in the name of kindness and caring for another. They too are fellow citizens whose concerns deserve a respectful hearing. Social issues are rarely black and white. More often, it鈥檚 a question of which values we wish to prioritize. That process requires genuine, rational dialogue that seeks consensus, or at least d茅tente.
Values evolve and social norms change. We can and should make rules and create legislation for the worst abuses, but the law is a blunt instrument and wisdom can鈥檛 be coerced. Finding the best path forward shouldn鈥檛 be seen as a zero-sum game of winners and losers, or approached as the answer for all time. The most effective method for social progress is embodied in the sentiment that 鈥渨e鈥檙e all in this together鈥�.听听It鈥檚 a strong, humble admission that we need to be kind to one another. Better to lock arms and advance together than be locked in battle, going nowhere.听
When hurt has been caused and social cohesion threatened, the first task is to genuinely seek to understand why, in all its depth and messiness. What values and principles are involved? The second, equally important task is to ask how healing can take place. It normally takes a combination of patience, persistence and faith. Concerns need to be honoured, amends need to be made, hearts must be comforted and unity restored. For healing wounds, there is no better remedy than kindness. It鈥檚 free and better yet, it self-propagates.
Sheila Flood is a member of the Bah谩鈥櫭� community of Saanich and member of the Victoria Multifaith Society
You can read more articles on our interfaith blog, Spiritually Speaking, HERE
Photo by听听辞苍听
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