鈥榊ou can choose your friends but you cannot choose your family.鈥� This old saying assumes that families are necessarily biological鈥攖hat blood or DNA is what connects people into families. But this is not completely true.听听There are many other kinds of families not biologically connected. There is no doubt that people can have very deep feelings about those with whom they are biologically related.听
In our immediate family there were two adopted children along with two 鈥榟ome -grown鈥� children. We have always told them that families are made by covenant鈥攂y decision and promise-- more so than by blood relationship. My wife and I are not blood related for example I explained.听
贵耻谤迟丑别谤尘辞谤别,听补濒濒听the members of the family have to remain in the family by decision and promise if the family is to stay together. Anyone can leave the family if they decide not to be part of it. That includes the parents as well as the children.
People talk about family relationships in ways that go far beyond biological relationship. There are 鈥榮orority sisters鈥� and 鈥榝raternity brothers鈥�. Even gang relationships are described as brotherhoods and sisterhoods. Any veterinarian could tell you how people describe their beloved pets as family members and grieve their loss as much as if they were human. Commitment to love and respect other beings knows no bounds and family is a good term to use in recognizing the relationships when they are made and the implicit or explicit promises kept. Decision and promise鈥攃ovenant in other words鈥攊s the most important element in many, many kinds of family.
听One is reminded of Jesus saying 鈥榃hoever does the will of God is my brother, sister and mother鈥�, (Mark 3:35) and St. Paul saying 鈥楢ll who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God鈥�. (Romans 8: 14) In the broadest sense, the family of humankind is made family by the presence and activity of the Creator Spirit received and expressed by all people in different ways.听听
Decision and promise occur whenever the Spirit of love comes like a wind that fills our sails and moves us to commitment, or when the Spirit comes like fire that warms our hearts and bodies, or when the Spirit comes like fresh spring water to give life in otherwise dry and thirsty souls, or when the Spirit comes like rock that strengthens our affections and holds our commitments steady. The Bible speaks of the Spirit in these terms. The Spirit comes to us, not of our own making, as it allows our decisions and promises to make us members of a great diversity of families.听
A great theologian, Soren Kierkegaard, has claimed that the worst failing of humankind is forgetting the good that needs to be remembered.听听Family Day is the occasion to remember the goodness of the great variety of families that we have decided and promised to be part of. 听
Paul Newman is a retired minister of The United Church of sa国际传媒
You can read more articles on our interfaith blog, Spiritually Speaking, HERE
听 * This article was published in the print edition of the sa国际传媒 on Saturday, February 16th 2019 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听 听听
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