LONDON (AP) 鈥� is listening to his inner critic.
It鈥檚 beating him up for after he fell off the stage during a and spent three nights in the hospital.
鈥淓motionally, I feel guilty and ashamed, you know, quite irrational because it was an accident. And it could have happened to anybody,鈥� he says.
The actor, 85, says it could have been a 鈥済reat deal worse鈥� if he hadn鈥檛 been wearing padding to portray the rotund Sir John Falstaff during the adaptation of Shakespeare鈥檚 鈥淗enry IV鈥� plays at London鈥檚 Noel Coward Theatre. While his are healing well, though, McKellen can鈥檛 shake the negativity of leaving the production early.
鈥淵ou suddenly abandon all your mates who are putting on the show and you feel something鈥檚 come to an end prematurely,鈥� he says.
But, he says, rumors of his imminent demise were definitely premature.
鈥淚 got the impression that dozens of friends wanted to come and say hello that, actually, they wanted to say goodbye. They thought I was on the way out,鈥� McKellen tells The Associated Press, adding with a laugh: 鈥淪o I very determinedly always open the front door and run up the stairs and show that I鈥檓 not going anywhere!鈥�
Although he's not onstage, McKellen can be spotted at the theater in 鈥淭he Critic,鈥� a thriller set in the West End of 1930s London that's in cinemas Sept. 13. This time, he鈥檚 in the audience, as gay newspaper writer James Erskine, who can make or break a career with a wicked turn of phrase in an era when homosexuality is illegal. Written by and based on Anthony Quinn鈥檚 novel 鈥淐urtain Call,鈥� it co-stars a host of British talent like Gemma Arterton, Mark Strong, Romola Garai, Ben Barnes and Lesley Manville.
McKellen spoke to the AP recently about his love of the theater, relationship with critics, the future of Gandalf and going back to work. The conversation has been edited for brevity and clarity.
AP: Do you miss being on the stage?
McKELLEN: I miss the routine. When I first started out, it was a great joy to me that when everybody else was taking time off at the end of a busy day, the actors were gearing up, ready to start theirs 鈥� that there was something about being an actor that was separate from the rest of the population. But that was probably because I was hiding the fact that I was gay or not talking about the fact that I was gay. It felt good to be different.
Acting, particularly in the theater, is totally satisfying. And if I鈥檓 not doing it, like at the moment. I think, 鈥淲ell, what is life all about?鈥� 85 is a bit late to be asking that question, because I settled with the fact that life for me was acting a long, long time ago. And so or not being able to work fills me with dread really.
AP: Have you been able to go and see other productions?
McKELLEN: I haven鈥檛. I鈥檝e been nervous about going out. But I think this next month or two I shall get back to what I enjoy doing: going to the theater and see everything that鈥檚 on in the West End that I hear people talking about.
AP: This film, 鈥淭he Critic,鈥� celebrates theater but you鈥檙e offstage for a change, in the audience.
McKELLEN: It鈥檚 the murky side of theater. A corrupt senior drama critic was prepared to give someone a series of good reviews if she will agree to help him out with the problem he鈥檚 got. I don鈥檛 think these days any critic has that sort of power but in the 1930s, before social media and when newspapers were everyone鈥檚 source of the truth, theater critics could be extremely powerful.
AP: What did you think of his ruthlessness?
McKELLEN: I think the source of it might be: How do you survive as a bon vivant and social person, who likes the limelight, when you鈥檙e having to be discreet, if not secret, about what you really are? That鈥檚 most likely to curdle the brain somewhat, isn鈥檛 it?
AP: What has your relationship been like with critics over the years?
McKELLEN: They began very well when I was at Cambridge University in a play. It was which is part of the play that I鈥檝e been doing when I played Falstaff. But this was 70 years ago, nearly. The Marlowe Society, that were putting this play on, didn鈥檛 put the names of the actors in the program 鈥� everyone was anonymous. And the critic from the now-defunct News Chronicle said he wishes that he鈥檇 known my name because it might well become a name to be remembered.
Now, when you read that in the national newspaper, and you鈥檙e 18 and you鈥檙e just an amateur actor, enjoying himself, it does pull you up short. That day I decided I鈥檇 become an actor. I wrote to him 20, 30 years later and said, look, I鈥檝e always been meaning to thank you for this. Said he couldn鈥檛, alas, remember the performance (laughs).
AP: Do you still read all your reviews?
McKELLEN: I do, but with a wary eye. I like to know what the word in the streets is and if you鈥檝e had a lot of bad reviews, or good ones. But the whole business of acting in the theater is, at 7:30, curtain goes up. All the lights turn on and you get on with the job for that night鈥檚 audience. And what happened on the first night? Irrelevant. And it should be no secret that actors get better or can get better. And if you do 100 performances of something, you鈥檙e likely to be better on the 100th performance than you were on the first night.
AP: I wanted to check in on 鈥淭he Lord of the Rings,鈥� because you said that you are still Gandalf鈥檚 physical representative on Earth. So with the ...
McKELLEN: I鈥檓 told Gandalf is in it and I haven鈥檛 read a script and there are no plans yet just to filming dates. But if it all worked out, I鈥檇 be very happy. It means I could go for a spell, particularly in the summer. That would be lovely. But there鈥檚 other work going on and I鈥檓 not going to get too upset if these are false hopes.
AP: So you鈥檒l be back at work next year? Are you already lining stuff up?
McKELLEN: Yes, I鈥檝e agreed to do a film in January and then I hope, another one a little later on. And then, be good, wouldn鈥檛 it? Go back and play Falstaff again and finish that job off? It鈥檚 partly why I鈥檓 a bit emotionally unsettled. It didn鈥檛 end properly. So if we went back and did it again, did a bit more touring, perhaps went to the States...
Hilary Fox, The Associated Press
