COVID-19 has been a long haul, one where the safety of our children has been in the forefront of all parents鈥� minds.
Watching my child walk into school each day wearing a mask is a very visual reminder that the world is not always safe. As much as we want to keep our children safe, there needs to be balance of freedom and responsibilities so they can grow up prepared to be adults. Sometimes, this means we, as parents, need to let go, even it if is uncomfortable.
In the fall, my daughter will be transitioning to middle school, and when I think of all the bad choices I made in middle school, I get nervous.
My daughter is stoked for a new school and her eagerness reminded me of one of the best lessons in parenting I ever received.
My daughter was in Grade 3 and her school was in the midst of cross-country running season. Each day, she would come home upset that she was always one of the slowest runners.
鈥淭he worst part isn鈥檛 that I am last, it鈥檚 that the teachers get all the kids to cheer for me,鈥� she said. 鈥淚t makes me want to stop running and just sit down. Sometimes they even send kids out to the field to run with me. Ugh, it鈥檚 the worst.鈥�
I, too, was never the fastest runner. She was preaching to the choir.
A few years earlier, I went through a couple-year phase where I spent every Sunday running around local lakes. As a larger person running, I received a lot of attention from strangers, who would clap and cheer for me as I passed them on the trail. Sometimes they would shout: 鈥淵ou go girl!鈥�
I know they meant well, but I also know they did not cheer for everyone they saw running. I got these cheers because I was overweight. It felt like everyone was saying: 鈥淵ou don鈥檛 look like you should be running, so good for you.鈥�
I understood my daughter鈥檚 reaction to the cheering and I reassured her that I鈥檝e been there. I let her know that we can鈥檛 all be good at everything, that being last builds character, and everything else you might tell a kid with this experience.
It was the last day of track and field and the whole school was participating in a big run. My daughter had been dreading this day. I crafted an email to the principal the night before, asking if they could excuse my daughter from the run. I read the email to my daughter and asked if I should send it.
鈥淣o 鈥� that鈥檚 more embarrassing,鈥� she said.
As I drove to pick her up at the end of the day, I braced myself for her complaints.
Instead, she happily bounced into the car and flashed a First Place ribbon in my face.
Perplexed, I asked her how she got the ribbon.
鈥淚 won it for shotput. I was the best in the whole school,鈥� she said, her entire face beaming with pride.
It was that day I learned that if I try and save my child from having a hard day or going through something emotionally challenging, she could also miss out on the opportunity to find the talents that fuel her to take risks and build confidence.
Charla Huber is the Director of Communications and Indigenous Relations for M鈥檃kola Housing Society.
