Dear Ellie: I read your column faithfully and enjoy it greatly. I read the story about brand-new puppy problems (Nov. 27).
I’ve recently adopted an adorable rescue puppy. But I had no idea how much effort raising him was going to be. I take him to the dog park most days, but the current cold weather makes me less keen to do this.
I’ve found help on a regular basis through doggie daycare. It does cost some money, so maybe it’s not available to everyone, but my experience with it has been wonderful. He stays six to seven hours on the days he goes there.
When I pick him up, he’s a happy, exhausted puppy. And an exhausted puppy is a puppy who is very easy to live with.
Your thoughts?
Puppy Love
The expression “to each his/her own way,” in matters of how to live your life, is very direct in meaning: this example you’ve written, about how you treat your puppy, is your business, so long as he’s healthy, well-fed and active.
However, just as with differences in the way people raise their children, there are limits on what’s considered acceptable and what is not.
In my young family, when there were two school-age children and two healthy dogs (a senior purebred and a rambunctious puppy) doggie playtime ruled the household atmosphere.
They were petted lavishly, fed healthily, given a run whenever they seemed restless, and snuggled lovingly at bedtime.
There is no single right way to be a dog owner. But there is a thoughtful, caring way to be sure that your dog is active and healthy while not over-stimulated by too much play time.
Dear Readers — With the Mean Girls musical so popular right now, I’ve revisited my own high-school discomfort and lack of confidence.
The “it” girl was openly handing out invitations to her upcoming birthday party. It was our graduating year and “the party of the year” was the only topic on everyone’s minds.
Even my mother heard about it. I rushed to my room crying. Mom went out and got a wrapped bottle of popular perfume, to give to the birthday girl.
I was so shocked to receive my invitation, that I faked illness, afraid that these girls were planning to play a joke on me. Mom said later: “If it didn’t feel right, then you had to follow your instinct.” It became my guiding rule.
FEEDBACK Regarding when some life decisions just don’t add up (Jan. 16):
Reader — “In my experience and exposure, ‘gap years’ never work. Once a person leaves the school environment, it becomes extremely difficult to go back. Especially when people who continue with university/college immediately after high school tend to remain focused.
“When both kids were in high school, they were ‘equals.’ Then, not anymore. One is experiencing the ‘real world’ with only a high-school education. Very likely, any jobs he was able to get are menial with low pay at best.
“Meanwhile, the other is continuing forward toward a career via his university path. Accordingly, their ‘common’ paths are diverging, and they’re no longer having shared experiences.
“The same situation also often happens when high school friends attend different universities and pursue different career paths. Elements of their commonalities decrease.
“And, if a friend does decide to return to school/university/college they will immediately be a year behind their friend.
“The reality: former buddies are discovering a new circle of friends based on their chosen paths. This will happen again once people enter the working world permanently. It’s all part of making life choices.”
Reader’s Commentary Regarding the question, should parents tell a child about their adoption (Jan. 15):
“When I was 13, my mother discovered that she was adopted by her grandparents when very young. The entire family knew but she was never told. She experienced a severe depression which affected everyone in her immediate family.
“Life as we once knew it, ceased to exist. My mother and our family never recovered from the deception.
“Sixteen years later, my mother passed away and while clearing out the family home, I discovered irrefutable evidence that I, too, was adopted and never told.
“My younger siblings were also adopted, all from different families.
“Perhaps I wasn’t important enough back then to be told the truth. My mother had destroyed all the adoption papers. None of us can find out just who we are.”
Not Bitter but still Unknown
Ellie’s tip of the Day
Adoption is a positive issue, when children are openly loved and cared for by those who dearly want to raise them.
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