If you care about words and their meanings, consider this contradiction in terms: Too often in today’s complicated social world, the word “support” refers to the amount of money and property which is legally divided between a divorcing couple.
In many cases, those funds are necessary for both husband and wife to continue affording where and how they live.
But just consider in this moment, how much less often do we recognize the other meaning of support — as in, lifting the spirits of a close friend, or visiting a housebound relative, or helping a working mother who’s unable to find a caregiver for her child, simply by calling around to friends and agencies, on her behalf. Even just trying is showing your support.
I’m reminded of a situation I was told about where the wife of a man who had advancing cancer called his former co-worker, who’d been his long-time buddy, and asked if he would please just phone whenever possible and talk to his ailing pal to laugh and reminisce about their “good old days.”
Support also means encouraging someone you care about in their personal wish to achieve a particular and worthwhile goal.
But there are also specific and sometimes dramatic situations, when support can expand to a much-needed group-sharing of efforts.
I’ve seen it become a gift of both love and endurance, when a close sibling living in another country, arrives to spend a month to care for her sibling, who was seriously ill and under hospital care.
Other family members also travelled or called from other locales to support her by their presence, attend hospital visits to cheer her up when possible, and be in constant touch with regular calls and texts.
Yet, selfless support also means coming forward with full and honest intent to help people whom you’ve never met.
Recently, a nearby neighbour knocked on our door and all down the street, delivering flyers that reminded people that other families in many different parts of our city lack security, especially regarding the ability to feed their children enough, and appropriate, nutrition.
Such worries also affect their elderly family members, especially those with little means of getting to stores and carrying their groceries back home.
But “support” isn’t an outreach which everyone feels they can afford. Money alone isn’t the issue.
Anyone who reads or listens to current news cannot avoid recognizing that there’s a vast gap in our efforts to
expand the help that’s needed in many communities.
Worse, there’s a far too limited amount of safe and secure housing in numerous inner-city areas.
Some people may say, “Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it all before,” and close their doors as well as their minds.
That’s just sad. We need to both hear and see the effects of being supportive, whether responding to a friend who’s struggling with a difficult illness, or just chatting about the uplifting stories of old times together.
We must recognize when needs are essential, not just a one-off “favour.” We need to be generous — with whatever we can afford, our time and of spirit.
The communities that we remember from past years as so vibrant — especially in the restaurant and entertainment districts — look tired and overcrowded in some areas and visibly downtrodden.
The time is now, not yesterday, for understanding what “support” really means.
From a Buddhist saying of the Dalai Lama, the message for community well-being is this: “Right from the moment of our birth, we are under the care and kindness of our parents.
“Later, when we are sick and old, we are again dependent on the kindness of others … how could it be that we would neglect kindness towards others in the middle?”
The fact is that those who do live in the middle — between hunger, worry and stress — need support, sometimes desperately … not just a one-time handout.
More helpful are the neighbourhood food drives such as those my neighbour reached out to organize, involving more people who’ve recognized and appreciated the needs of the many. The local neighbours, receiving the urgings of organizers, followed through, many of them carrying several large grocery bags filled with the appropriate nutrition which hungry kids and older people require for daily health.
It’s clear that what’s desperately needed are many more local community projects and helping people whom you’ve never met.
It’s never too late to give support.
