Dear Lisi: I love my job and the freedom it gives me to lead my life on my own schedule. I can travel where and when I wish, as long as I have internet access. I can be available for my children whenever they need me. And I can keep up with the hobbies that I love.
The only problem is that there are items constantly moving in and out of my house. When I travel, my business partner has access to my home and can get whatever she needs if there are time constraints, and it can’t wait until my return. But this drives my husband crazy, on top of the cumulation of bags, boxes, deliveries and delivery people constantly at my door.
When he is at the office, he’s unaware of the comings and goings, but there have recently been a few weeks (thankfully not in a row) where he has been working from home for one reason or another. And one of those weeks coincided with a trip I had planned long ago.
Suffice to say that he was quite unhappy, and we had a huge blow-out upon my return.
How can I keep my fabulous job, with all its craziness, and not upset my husband?
Delivery Dump
If your husband has always worked out of the home, and you have always worked from the home, then you both have expectations of what the home can offer you — and those expectations are clearly different.
Discuss it with him. Explain how you have always worked, what happens when he’s at the office, and how your business runs. Then ask him what exactly bothers him — don’t let him say “everything” — and try to see where and how you can make changes and compromise.
At the same time, if he has an office to go to, whereas you don’t, what you do during your work hours when he is away shouldn’t really affect him. That doesn’t mean he’s not allowed to work from home; it just means that you shouldn’t have to change the way you work because he’s home for a day or two.
Dear Lisi: My business partner is cheap, cuts corners and I’m starting to really get upset by her actions. I believe that what she’s doing is going to cost us our business. We have long-standing customers with whom we have cultivated great relationships, and I’m afraid if they find out, they’ll be so hurt and offended that they’ll tell everyone.
I’ve tried to talk to my partner, but she denies or brushes it under the rug. Help!
Partner problems
You need a lawyer and fast. I’m not sure what type of agreement you have with your partner, but it’s your reputation on the line. You need to figure out the legal best practice for cutting ties with this person before they drag you down a hole you can’t escape.
FEEDBACK Regarding leaving your estate to ungrateful children (April 19):
Reader 1 — I’m afraid I don’t agree with your response. The parents described themselves as providing equally to each child. Call me a cynic but I think it’s impossible to give each child the same amount of emotional attention, financial support, etc., even though intentions are pure. We are hearing the parent’s side only.
It’s unfortunate the parents didn’t divide the assets equally even though they were generous in their provisions. To label the discontented children greedy shows that there has been a communication breakdown which has caused a serious rift in the family. Your advice for the parents to cut out the unhappy siblings is cruel since we don’t know both sides of the story.
Reader 2 — I think it is too late for the letter writer to change the gifts he has already made to his children. However, I hope this situation will give pause to others with significant assets to reconsider how to deal with their estates.
It saddens me to think how just one property bequeathed to a housing charity such as Habitat for Humanity would improve so many lives. Once we have brought up our children and given them every advantage in life it could be time to consider helping others.
Reader 3 – Your reply was dead-on. We’re in our 80s, similar situation, and our estate has been left to our only grandchild. If she doesn’t sort her problems out, it will be changed to our one and only great-granddaughter. As you said — we are still alive.
Reader 4 — I would like to suggest something else altogether: Sell all the properties and divide the cash equally.
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