Dear Lisi: What happened to customer service? Why is everyone so intent on squeezing everyone else for all they’ve got? Even when picking up a fast-food coffee, the first thing the machine asks for is a tip. For whom?
The person behind the counter was hired to either take my money or make me a coffee. What am I tipping them on – the work they’re getting paid for? Tipping is meant to show appreciation for a job well done. A waitress who runs back and forth to the kitchen, refills your coffee without asking, substitutes items in your omelet when she’s not supposed to…. That’s who tipping is for.
I also have a (slightly more than) minimum wage job. I work in retail. Someone enters my store, and I am friendly, helpful, kind, honest and available. Whether they purchase something or not, they don’t tip me. It’s my job! My problem is that when you don’t tip, you risk the person on the other end doing something untoward to your order.
It’s a lose-lose situation. What do you think?
Tipped out
Tipping is different worldwide: For example, it is not the done thing in Australia. Whereas in Europe, on low-key items and services, most people just round up the bill; on bigger-ticket items, such as restaurants, tipping is usually in the 5 to 10 per cent range.
Here in North America, where 15 per cent used to be the normal average, it’s now gone up to 18 per cent. As you mentioned, when you pay with card, the machine automatically suggests 18 per cent as the lowest choice (though you can manually change that).
I agree – tipping is a gesture of gratitude for a job well done. Do what feels right for you in each situation.
Dear Lisi: I don’t know how to ask this question without sounding as though I’m ignorant…. But here goes: I have very fast-growing toenails and skate competitively, so I need to get regular pedicures at least once a month if not twice. There is a salon around the corner from my house that is extremely convenient.
Here’s my problem: the women who work there are all Asian — some are Chinese, some Korean and some Taiwanese — and they are constantly speaking in a language that they seem to all understand, though I don’t. I find them hard to identify, even though I am there so often, because they often change their hairstyles, and most of them still wear a mask. And they also wear name tags that don’t stay the same.
I am trying so hard to build a relationship with them since I’m there so often, but I can’t. How do I approach them, and what would I say?
Pedi pals
I would start with one woman at a time. While she’s working on your feet, ask her about herself, her background and ask her to teach you a few key words in her language. Request she take care of you every time you go, and build a relationship with her. Once you feel completely comfortable, focus on someone else (but keep your regular pedicurist). It takes time and effort to get to know people. They’ll appreciate you for it.
FEEDBACK Regarding the couple in PDA (July 24):
Reader – “First, the parents should tell their son how much they like his girlfriend. Stress the positives and how they are happy for their son. Then explain their discomfort with the couple’s public affection. If this is what they’re like, no doubt others have told them to ‘get a room!’
“I recall a party I attended years ago where an extremely amorous couple was sitting at our table. NUMEROUS people came up to them and suggested they tone it down or ‘get a room.’”
FEEDBACK Regarding the thank-you notes (July 15):
Reader – “You said ‘Thank you notes are a thing of the past.’ Does that mean that politeness has been replaced by rudeness and that is acceptable? I feel that thank-you notes, either a written note or email, are still required.
“Being thoughtful and taking the time and money to send a gift should be acknowledged. Not replying indicates how spoiled people are these days. It seems they do not need, require or cherish gifts. Stop giving them.”
Lisi – Getting a thank you in person and a hug is not impolite. Rudeness is not acceptable, but thank-you notes are not necessary. There are many other ways to show gratitude. Nowadays, many invitations are sent by email, with RSVPs sent electronically, followed by e-thank yous. Some consider it more eco-friendly.
Bottom line: it doesn’t matter how, just show your gratitude.
Lisi Tesher is an advice columnist based in Toronto. Send your relationship questions to [email protected]
