Dear Lisi: I am a divorced man in his mid-60s, a double stroke survivor and don’t have any children. I was seriously involved with a similarly aged woman when she suddenly broke off our relationship without warning. She won’t return my calls or texts, and when I call her office, all I get is an “unavailable at this time” recording.
She was a shy woman who lets loose once comfortable. Our first date was great. We laughed the night away, held hands, kissed and did some playful touching. We had sex on the second date.
Shortly after that date, we exchanged house keys and made room in our closets and dressers so we could extend our weekends together. Her kisses were very passionate and her affection was unmatched from any woman I’d ever been involved with, including my ex-wife.
Since we broke up, I’ve reconnected with one of the nurses I met while in rehab from my strokes. While I was in hospital, we became instant friends, shared our deepest secrets, and told each other our fears and what makes us happy.
The afternoon I was to be released from rehab, she came to my room crying hysterically. She said her fiancé was mad at her for not wanting sex before going to work. Knowing she was unhappy and considering breaking up with him, I stood up from my wheelchair and gave her the biggest hug.
When my ex-wife and sister-in-law came to get me, my nurse friend said there was no way anybody else would wheel me out for the last time and started crying again.
When I found out she had been sleeping on a friend’s sofa since her breakup, I immediately offered the second bedroom in my townhouse to her. She accepted and began moving her things the next day.
Shortly after she moved in, I found myself in need of a plus one for an office function. I invited her and she handled herself well in a room with a bunch of high-powered executives. I’m still getting positive feedback on her almost three weeks later.
Last weekend, I had two of my closest friends over for a BBQ and to watch football. When my roommate got home from work, I invited her to join us.
After my friends left, it was still early so we decided to watch a movie on Netflix. As the movie progressed, she inched closer and closer to me and eventually started playfully touching me and I started laughing like a kid and did the same to her. Next thing I knew our playful touching escalated to just short of having sex. Even before our kissing and undressing episode, I had a feeling that we might have something more special than being good friends. (We had numerous late-night discussions about getting involved romantically with people younger and older than us.)
There’s only one major issue: I’m almost 20 years older than she is.
What do you think?
Hot and Heavy
I think you sound like a man who enjoys the company of women, is in touch with his emotions, is communicative, friendly, and enjoys sexual activity. All good things. You had a wife who still likes you enough to pick you up from the hospital, and now a much-younger woman who finds you attractive.
Yes, 20 years is a large age-gap, but you’re both mature adults. Be conscious of your life stage differences, and enjoy each other’s company. One night of fun kissing doesn’t mean commitment.
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