Dear Lisi: I was married to my wife for sixteen years, but three years ago she got sick with cryptococcal meningitis. The Lord saved her, but the problem is that she destroyed everything and left me with kids. Now she lives alone.
I am a father of two boys and one girl. What can I do to raise these kids?
Single Dad
Cryptococcal meningitis is a fungal infection often found in bird droppings. If you (unknowingly) breathe in the spores, they could spread from the lungs to the brain or spinal cord. It’s a very rare disease but can be serious in those with already compromised immune systems.
I’m happy to hear that your wife has received treatment and is now cured of this terrible disease. However, I’m not sure what you mean by “she destroyed everything.”
Nonetheless, your job is to raise your three children the same way you would have raised them alongside your wife — with love, patience, humour, lots of energy and the help of friends and family. Good luck!
Dear Lisi: There’s a guy at my work who likes me. I can tell because he always passes by my office to say good morning, brings me water, asks me to go for lunch and just always tries to catch my eye if we’re in the same vicinity. I like him a lot, but not more than as a friend.
But I feel badly because I can’t find anything “wrong” with him. I just know I don’t want to ever be too close to him. He doesn’t have bad body odour, but he just emanates an odour that makes my stomach roil.
The other day we were in the elevator together, along with another friend of ours from the office. The guy got off at one floor before we did, and I asked my friend if she thought he had B.O. She said not at all! So, I know it’s just me.
Is this something I can get over? Or am I never going to be able to find any guy?
Strong Sniffer
I’m not sure how you went from this one guy with body odour to never finding love, but I suggest you take a step back and slow down. There is something called pheromone attraction which is exactly the smell another person has and how it affects you. Pheromones are a chemical released by the body through sweat, urine, breast milk, vaginal fluid and semen; they’re also known as the love chemicals.
But it can work in the opposite way and repel you from that same person. Take it as a sign that you’re not meant to be with this guy. That’s OK; there’s nothing wrong with having a good friend. But practice sniffing because there is definitely someone out there with whom you have body scent compatibility.
Dear Lisi: My sister came over and noticed our toilet seat was up. She then told me that she insists her husband pee sitting down so that he NEVER leaves the seat up. How my brother-in-law uses the washroom is his business, but is that healthy for a man?
Toilet Trouble
Thanks to Google research, I am surprised to inform you, that yes, it is very healthy for men to pee sitting down. It helps them empty their bladder more fully, can be easier on men with prostate issues, and/or those who can’t stand for long periods, and obviously helps with aim.
I’m more surprised that your brother-in-law just does whatever his wife tells him to do. I hope that he did his own research before agreeing to her rule, and that if he chooses to pee standing up every now and again, he remembers to lower the seat before leaving the washroom.
FEEDBACK Regarding the daughter who can’t sing – but loves to (Oct. 2):
Reader #1 – “Has she ever recorded her daughter’s singing and played it back to her? Let her daughter decide for herself.
“I once heard a comment directed toward Neil Young regarding him ‘always singing off-key.’ His response, ‘that is who I am.’ Mic drop.”
Reader #2 – “I agree with the first psychologist (Lisi - who suggested heading her daughter off at the pass). I speak from experience, being told by my mother that I was good at singing. The singer’s mom needs to gently tell her that she is singing off key, etc. She should be encouraged to sing at home for her own enjoyment but not in public. She should hear it from her mom and not from others.”
Reader #3 – “Let her sing! No harm, no foul. Why burst her bubble at such a young age?”
Lisi Tesher is an advice columnist based in Toronto. Email questions to [email protected].
