Dear Lisi: I work for a company in a team atmosphere. For every issue, even if I could solve the problem alone, I’m not able to. I need to discuss and include several other people in every move.
The problem is that those I work with are inept, slow, and also have to talk to their teams. So, something that should be very simple to execute can take forever.
Daily, I am frustrated, have added more to my list, and can’t move forward. There’s no one to talk to because those in charge are the ones making my life difficult.
Short of leaving this company, what can I do?
Frustrated Employee
Have you spoken to your direct superior about your frustrations, without complaining about anyone in particular? Have you spoken to HR about your frustrations and predicament?
Sometimes we find ourselves in situations that are out of our control. We can problem solve to the best of our abilities, perhaps even make slight improvements, but some things may not change.
Practically speaking, if there’s one employee who doesn’t work well with 20 others, it’s more cost-effective to let that one person go. It may be time to start job hunting.
Dear Lisi: My cousin and I grew up very close. We live in the same neighbourhood, and walked to school and back together daily. We carpooled to gymnastics and swim, and were equally as talented.
As we got older, it became clear that my cousin needed more than our local school could offer. The same thing was obvious in high school, but there were no other options.
My cousin is a genius, bored and not challenged. She was finally able to escape the mundane when she got a full academic scholarship to a university in the U.S.. We were all so excited for her — me more than anyone as she was my absolute best friend. September came, and away she went. We spoke almost daily in the beginning. She was full of stories of everything new and exciting. But as the school year got going, she stopped communicating.
I decided she needed to focus on her work and tried not to take it personally. I figured we’d reconnect during winter break which we had planned to spend together. But she was invited to a friend’s ski chalet and her parents allowed her to go.
Again, I tried to stay positive. She’s family, so I knew in my heart that she wasn’t gone from my life forever. I threw myself into my own studies, my new boyfriend and swim team.
She arrived home at the end of May just when I was away competing. We kept missing each other.
I started my summer job at the beginning of July and figured we’d have lots of time to catch up during the summer. But we’ve only seen each other once and it was very awkward.
I’m sad, hurt, and don’t know how to reconnect with her. What do I do?
Distant and distraught
Though there’s no malice, fighting or anger in your story, her version might be completely different. Since she isn’t keen on talking to you, I suggest you write her a heartfelt letter.
Maybe she thinks you’re upset with her, or jealous; or maybe she isn’t having as good a time as she thinks she should and she’s embarrassed. Who knows? But the two of you need to clear the air.
Tell her how you feel, without blame or finger pointing. Tell her what you had hoped would be, what is, and how you would like it to go. As you say, she’s family, so she’s not gone forever. But impress upon her how much you miss her close friendship.
FEEDBACK Regarding the young person who accepted a job that’s not panning out (July 3):
Reader – “I was just reading your reply to the young person who accepted a job offer and then received another offer from the States for the summer.
“This has SCAM written all over it.
“I can’t tell you the number of times young people have reached out to me because they received an offer south of the border and then the red flags started popping up. The employment laws for out of country citizens in sa国际传媒 and the US are seriously complicated. There isn’t a legit summer job that didn’t need a visa to be applied for long in advance.”
Lisi – Though I don’t doubt your information, I do know of young people who get hired to work at summer camps in the States. The job wasn’t specified, so I took that into consideration.
Ellie Tesher and Lisi Tesher are advice columnists for the Star and based in Toronto. Send your relationship questions via email: [email protected] or [email protected]
