Dear Lisi: I have an eight-year-old granddaughter who is a very picky eater. She likes simple things, nothing fancy, and, of course, she loves fast food. I average three meals a week with her and am having difficulty figuring out what to feed her. I know better than to always take her to McDonalds or Tim Hortons. I know that’s not healthy.
I also don’t want my son-in-law to be annoyed. My daughter is less fussed because she knows it’s a “special treat” with Grandma, but my son-in-law is very concerned about healthy eating. He can be tough and somewhat irrational, and I wouldn’t put it past him to limit my time with my granddaughter based on how well, or not well, I feed his daughter.
But I also don’t want my time with my granddaughter to be a constant discussion of where we’re going to eat, what we’re going to eat, etc. I want to have fun with her and spend our time bonding, laughing and enjoying each other’s company.
What should I do?
Not your gourmet Grandma
Everyone in this scenario makes a good point. Your time with your granddaughter should be spent doing fun things, without stress over food. However, eating fast food is unhealthy and doesn’t teach good eating habits.
Do you have any dishes that you’re “famous” for making? Even if they’re beyond your granddaughter’s palate, you could teach her how to cook your special dishes. Cooking is a life lesson that not enough people learn until they’re forced to when living on their own.
You could start by taking your granddaughter to the bookstore and perusing the cookbooks, even purchasing one that is kid-friendly and appeals to her. That’s a fun outing, educational, promoting a love of books, including the cooking theme. Then together you could choose a recipe, go to the grocery store (not as an errand but again, with purpose), and cook your meal together.
Time well spent, fun, bonding and educational. Even if the recipes are as simple as pasta with homemade tomato sauce and homemade chicken fingers, homemade macaroni and cheese, mini burgers, healthy muffins, pancakes, even grilled cheese.
Now I’m hungry and I want to join you!
Dear Lisi: I’m a regular client at my local salon. One individual with whom I have minimal contact had asked me about my eight-year-old granddaughter. I replied that she is fine. This person then asked, “So…. are there going to be any more babies?” I responded, “That is something personal that I would never discuss with my daughter or son-in-law.” She then asked the same question again and I replied, “It’s no one’s business.”
Several weeks later, my manicurist asked me about my granddaughter and again, I said that she’s fine. She then asked, “Do you think they’re going to have another baby?” My response was more forceful this time and I said, “I would never ask that. It’s no one’s business.”
I don’t understand why people feel they have a right to ask such highly personal questions. No one knows if there are health reasons or any other factors which have influenced my daughter and son-in-law’s decision to have one child.
Do you think I handled such inappropriate questions correctly? This is a very sensitive issue for me, and I feel that if the question is posed again, my response will be much more vocal.
Privacy Police
I don’t think the question is as inappropriate as you feel it is, but you did mention it’s a sensitive issue for you. I also don’t think that either person was prying, rather, I think they were just making small talk conversation about the one thing they know about you.
That doesn’t mean you have to discuss it with them. Just smile sweetly and say, “That’s not a topic I’d like to discuss.” And move on.
FEEDBACK Regarding the guy dumped by his jealous girlfriend (Oct. 2):
Reader #1 – “Thank her and move on. She did him a HUGE favour. She is definitely insecure and has definite signs of being controlling.”
Reader #2 – “Run! Quickly! This trait is not going to change.
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“Give her a second chance but only after you discuss with her that she needs to change this behaviour. If it happens again, exit and don’t look back bro!”
Lisi Tesher is an advice columnist based in Toronto. Email questions to [email protected].
