Dear Lisi: I’m in a bit of a situation and don’t know how to figure it out. I have a really good friend whom I met in person years ago. Our friendship started when we kept running into each other at the same events, and realized we had several friends in common. Once the friends realized it, we both were invited to more things together, and our friendship grew.
But it was always, always in person. We rarely spoke on the phone. Then COVID hit and we reached out to each other through text and other social media. But after a while, we wanted to speak. She called me on the phone and I couldn’t understand a word she was saying.
We had three such conversations but I found it much too difficult to chat with her over the phone. It was exhausting. I never realized how badly she mumbles.
She moved away at the beginning of 2021 and we lost touch. Now she’s back, which is great, but she’s calling me all the time, and I can’t talk to her on the phone.
How do I deal with this?
Mouth full of marbles
Tricky, but manageable. That was then, this is now. You both liked each other, and the days of lockdowns, masks and no social interactions are thankfully over. Make a plan to get together in person, and soon. Rekindle your friendship. Before you part, make another plan to get together. Basically, minimize the amount of time you need to speak on the phone.
The only problem will be if she likes to chat on the phone, as some people do. Still, avoidable and manageable. Don’t let her minor speech impediment — and your inability to understand her — negatively affect the friendship.
Dear Lisi: When I was much, much younger, in my late teens, I had a serious boyfriend. At the time, I was convinced he and I would be together forever. I got a tattoo of his name on my body in a spot that no one else would ever see. He thought it was so romantic and our love was intense.
Fast forward a few years and we broke up. First love crushed. We both took years to move on, but we did. After a few years of dating, I found a new guy when I was in my late 20s, and was certain he was the one. The tattoo bothered him, but I was able to manipulate it to read this guy’s name, as luckily the two shared some common letters. My man was pleased.
Sadly, some tragedy befell us and our relationship ended. I’m devastated and now have the two loves of my life forever inked in my skin, but no guy in my life. How am I ever going to get over this, and deal with this tattoo?
Infinite ink
Your full story reads like a good movie. Look at the positives. You have lived and loved intensely and wholeheartedly. Lucky you! And you’re still so young, with years ahead to marry and have a family, as I know is your desire.
And now it is possible to have tattoos completely removed (I did my research for a column a few months ago). The choice is really yours. By removing the tattoos, you won’t be eradicating the men from your memories, but you will be getting rid of the evidence.
By keeping the tattoos, you will have a daily reminder of your loves — and your hurts. I know what I would do.
FEEDBACK regarding the dad who has given up on technology (May 10):
Reader 1 — “The first thing I thought of, although there is no age mentioned here, is this man could be dealing with some early form of dementia, or at least something is starting. Why did he need a leave of absence from his computer? Was he just burnt out?
“Elderly folks begin to give up on those tasks because they get confusing and frustrating. So, it’s easier just to stop doing them than to admit what’s going on or that it’s overwhelming.”
Reader 2 — “I just wanted to add something to your answer to the technophobe who wrote about her dad having his cellphone on silent. He probably doesn’t want to answer it to every random caller trying to scam him or sell him something.
“I have found a solution that really works for me. I set up a different ring tone for the three members of my family that I will always answer. Then everything else I can ignore and just let it go to voicemail.”
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