Most of Hazel Darlington's grandchildren are scattered outside of St. Louis.
Darlington, 85, figured creating a Facebook account might help her stay better in touch with them.
But she quickly discovered the darker side of social networks. "I realized what I was doing mostly was spying on the children in college. I would look at the pictures and think 'Oh, my God, what is she wearing?' "
After a brief flirtation with Facebook, Darlington, of St. Louis, shut down her account.
"I felt like I was spying, and that's not nice. They have a right to their private life," she said.
She went back to writing the out-of-towners emails.
Shirley Moore, 75, who lives in the same Laclede Groves, Missouri, retirement community as Darlington, noticed that many of her emails to grandchildren went unanswered.
Only two out of 10 of her grandchildren live locally, so she learned how to text on her $8 a month, prepaid Samsung flip phone.
"It takes me 12 minutes to write a text, but I'll get a response in 20 seconds," she said - although she really prefers sending her granddaughter in college old-fashioned letters every eight to nine days.
"She's the only one who gets snail mail. Her friends are all jealous."
She and her husband, Terry Moore, said they noticed that the way they connect with their families has fundamentally changed.
"The one-on-one communication with everyone sitting down and chatting is gone," Shirley Moore said.
"We try to demonstrate that," her husband added.
It's not just their grandchildren on their phones when everyone gets together, they added. It's their parents on their iPads, too. "I miss it.
That's why I learned to text," his wife added.
While some grandparents have adopted technology as a way to stay closer to family members, others said they still prefer to hear a voice on the phone or see their loved ones in person.
"When they do get really busy, too busy, you do feel down," Nancy Pfund, 75, said.
If it's been a while since you've spent time really talking to someone at least 40 or 50 years older than yourself, it's easy to forget the wisdom and richness these conversations can bring.
The grandparents I recently interviewed all said they considered their families, their children and grandchildren, an enormous blessing and the most important part of their lives. Relationships are how we continue to feel part of something, connected to others.
When they get face-to-face time with their grandchildren, they enjoy the questions they are asked: What was I like as a child?
How was life when you were growing up? What in the world is a typewriter?
(Terry Moore once brought his old typewriter to a family dinner to demonstrate to the children how people communicated before Apple products invaded nearly every home.)
Jill Hintze, 84, has 19 grandchildren and 15 great-grandchildren. She keeps a log of every single relative's birthday, address and email. She makes a point on each grandchild's birthday to write and mail a handwritten letter. She likes to crochet booties whenever a great-grandchild is born.
