Too many late nights punctuated with too many infomercials finally wore me down.
I bought a Slap Chop machine, the mini food chopper pitched by a salesman called Vince.
Who could resist from the promises spouted on the infomercial and, I quote:
鈥� You're gonna be in a great mood all day because you're gonna be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop.
鈥� This tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna, put it here like this鈥攏ow you're gonna have a nice tuna salad. Look at this, you're gonna have an exciting life now.
鈥� The onions with the skin. Alright, this is making you cry, it's making me cry. Life's hard enough as it is; you don't wanna cry anymore.
Yes, I wanted to be in a great mood, have an exciting life and I don鈥檛 wanna cry no more, no more, no more. Here鈥檚 my credit card, take it please.
Well . ... I can chop a half a carrot and some celery, nicely. Onions get too mushy and forget about putting tuna or any type of soft material in the chopping chamber. You鈥檒l be cleaning聽 gummed-up blades for awhile. It does a nice job on nuts, though.
But, really, a good knife will get the same results. What did I expect, it was an infomerical.
What I did discover, though were the many remixes made of the infomercial on the Internet. Search for slap chop and remix and you鈥檒l find them. My advice is skip the machine, watch the videos.
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