As we鈥檝e had to postpone our travels because of the pandemic, I believe a weekly dose of travel dreaming can be good medicine. Here鈥檚 a reminder of the fun that awaits us in Europe at the other end of this crisis.
Oscar Wilde famously said that the English 鈥渉ave really everything in common with America nowadays 鈥� except, of course, language.鈥� It鈥檚 still true. A trip to Britain comes with plenty of linguistic surprises.
I鈥檒l never forget checking into a small-town B&B as a teenager on my first solo European adventure. The landlady cheerily asked me: 鈥淎nd what time would you like to be knocked up in the morning?鈥�
I looked over at her husband, who winked: 鈥淲ould a fry at half-eight be suitable?鈥� The next morning, I got a rap on the door at 8 a.m. and a huge British breakfast a half-hour later.
Britain can be an adventure in accents and idioms鈥�
Every day you鈥檒l see babies in prams and pushchairs, sucking dummies as mothers change wet nappies. Soon the kids can trade in their nappies for smalls and spend a penny on their own. 鈥淪pend a penny鈥� is British for a visit to the loo (bathroom). Older British kids enjoy candy floss (cotton candy), naughts and crosses (tic-tac-toe), big dippers (roller coasters), and iced lollies (popsicles). Kids are constantly in need of an Elastoplast or sticking plaster (Band-Aid), which their parents buy at the chemist鈥檚 (pharmacy).
In a stationery store, you can get sticky tape or Sellotape (adhesive tape), rubbers (erasers), and scribbling blocks (scratch pads). At garden shops, those with green fingers (a green thumb) might pick up some courgette (zucchini), swede (rutabaga), or aubergine (eggplant) seeds. If you need a torch (flashlight), visit the ironmonger鈥檚 (hardware store).
In Britain, fries are chips and potato chips are crisps. A beef burger, made with mince (hamburger meat), comes on a toasted bap (bun). For pudding (dessert), have some sponge (cake).
The British have a great way with names. You鈥檒l find towns with names like Upper and Lower Slaughter, Once Brewed, and Itching Field. This cute cosiness comes through in their language as well. You鈥檒l visit 鈥渂rilliant鈥� (wonderful) sights that鈥檒l give you 鈥済oose pimples鈥� (goose bumps). Your car will have a bonnet and a boot rather than a hood and trunk. You鈥檒l drive on motorways, and when the freeway divides, it becomes a dual carriageway. Never go anticlockwise (counterclockwise) in a roundabout. Gas is petrol, a truck is a lorry, and when you hit a tailback (traffic jam), don鈥檛 get your knickers in a twist (make a fuss) 鈥� just be patient and queue up (line up).
The British never say they have a two-week vacation, but many locals holiday for a fortnight, often in a homely (homey) rural cottage or possibly on the Continent (continental Europe). They might pack a face flannel (washcloth) and hair grips (bobby pins) in their bum bag (never a 鈥渇anny鈥� pack 鈥� which refers to the most private part of a woman鈥檚 anatomy). If it鈥檚 rainy, they wear a mackintosh (raincoat) or an anorak (parka) with press studs (snaps).
If you get settled into a flat (apartment), you can post letters in the pillar box or give your mum a trunk (long-distance) call. If that鈥檚 too dear (expensive), she鈥檒l say you鈥檙e tight as a fish鈥檚 bum. If she witters on (gabs and gabs), tell her you鈥檙e knackered (exhausted) and it鈥檚 been donkey鈥檚 years (ages) since you鈥檝e slept. After washing up (doing the dishes) and hoovering (vacuuming), you can have a plate of biscuits (cookies) and, if you鈥檙e so inclined, a neat (straight) whisky. Too much of that whisky will get you sloshed, paralytic, bevvied, wellied, ratted, popped up, or even pissed as a newt.
Then there is the question of accents. These days, accents are trendy in Britain. Politicians, newscasters, and movie stars have been favouring deep accents over the Queen鈥檚 English. It鈥檚 hard for American ears to pick out all of the variations 鈥� and some accents are so thick they sound like a foreign language 鈥� but most Brits can determine what region a person is from based on their accent.
All across the British Isles, you鈥檒l encounter new words, crazy humour, and colourful accents. Pubs are colloquial treasure chests. Church services, sporting events, and local comedy shows are linguistic classrooms.
The streets of Liverpool, the docks of London, and children鈥檚 parks throughout the U.K. are playgrounds for the North American ear. One of the beauties of touring Great Britain is the illusion of hearing a foreign language and actually understanding it鈥� most of the time.
This article was adapted from Rick鈥檚 new book, For the Love of Europe.
Rick Steves (ricksteves.com) writes European guidebooks, hosts travel shows on public TV and radio, and organizes European tours. You can email Rick at [email protected] and follow his blog on Facebook.
