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VENICE
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It鈥檚 5:45 p.m. and we鈥檙e in noisy rush hour traffic Venice-style.
My wife and I and our 10-year-old daughter are in a gondola at the mouth of the Grand Canal鈥攖he nexus of all things water transport in this Italian city made up of 118 islands and 448 bridges.
The jostling for position starts as soon as we leave the docks where thousands of tourists everyday pay big bucks to hop in a gondola.
Since these waters are heaving with gondolas and the craft aren鈥檛 equipped with horns, gondoliers standing at the back deftly working the single oar are yelling at each other in Italian.
We鈥檇 like to think our gondolier, Enrico Busetto, is screeching that his customers are the most important so please give right of way.
But the reality is he doesn鈥檛 want a collision and the sooner he can get us around the corner and into the narrower and quieter Santa Maria Formsoa Canal and back he can take on more paying customers.
Don鈥檛 get me wrong, we adore our half-hour gondola ride and it was surreal to be gliding over some of the world鈥檚 most fabled waterways in this unique boat.
But it isn鈥檛 at all what we expected.
With our daughter in tow we weren鈥檛 exactly anticipating a moon-lit romantic escape with champagne and serenading Italian.
But neither did we expect the cacophony of this ancient mode of transportation put to a comedic backdrop of tourism, commerce and chaos.
The gondola itself was a surprise.
I know what they look like from a million tourist brochures, TV shows and movies.
But stepping into the real thing revealed a black boat that had lost a bit of its original sheen.
The red upholstery on the bench and chair seating was slightly faded and tattered 鈥� remember the thousands of tourists鈥� butts that have been there before yours 鈥� and are reminiscent of a 1700s Venetian boudoir.
When we enter the smaller narrower canal there鈥檚 still lots of traffic, but there鈥檚 only room for gondolas single file.
This is where our gondolier Enrico puts on a show.
With a sweep of his arms, flick of his wrists and roll of his hands he glides the vessel through the passageway.
To this poetry in motion he regularly paces up and down his little Persian-carpeted runway in the back to achieve the right torque on the oar; occasionally has to use his foot to push off a wall so gondola and building don鈥檛 crash; and is forever ducking and weaving so he doesn鈥檛 bonk his head as we squeeze under bridge after bridge.
While Enrico is wearing the traditional red and white striped gondolier shirt, he hasn鈥檛 bothered to put on his straw hat with ribbon.
So I find my camera lens wandering to capture two such behatted gondoliers 鈥� one passing by and one on a bridge.
Our time on the canals is part of the Doge鈥檚 Palace, St.Mark鈥檚 Basilica and Gondola Ride excursion we pick while in Venice on a 12-day Mediterranean cruise aboard the Disney Magic.
Seems every tourist in Venice this day is after the same trifecta of the city鈥檚 greatest hits.
But being on a Disney excursion means special treatment.
We bypass the long line to tour the Doge鈥檚 Palace with guide Rosanna Colombo, who tells us Doges were the king鈥檚 representative in Venice while he was off partying in Constantinople.
At St. Mark鈥檚 Basilica we also line cut to take in 8,000 square metres of gold and mosaics.
鈥淚 may not be objective and I may not even be really Catholic, but this is the most beautiful church in the world,鈥� says Rosanna.
Similarly, the excursion means we walk right up docks to waiting gondolas for our rides.
There鈥檚 even front row seats on the patio at Al Todaro restaurant in ultra-busy St. Mark鈥檚 Square awaiting us when we return so we can people watch and, of course, eat gelato.
Disney Magic鈥檚 Mediterranean cruises stops not just in Venice, but Barcelona, the South of France, Naples, Pisa, Florence, Rome, Croatia and Malta.
It鈥檚 the perfect way to take in the Med鈥檚 history and beauty and get that Disney quality in excursions and everything onboard from food and entertainment to pools and spa.
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DisneyCruise.com and Venice-Tourism.com.
