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In first visit since easing, teary daughter reconnects with 100-year-old mother

Victoria鈥檚 Brenda Brophy tried in vain to hold back tears on Friday as she said goodbye to her 100-year-old mother following their first official meeting since visitation restrictions for long-term-care and assisted-living homes were eased last week
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Brenda Brophy with her mother Dot Finnerty in the chapel of Mount St. Mary Hospital in Victoria.

Victoria鈥檚 Brenda Brophy tried in vain to hold back tears on Friday as she said goodbye to her 100-year-old mother following their first official meeting since visitation restrictions for long-term-care and assisted-living homes were eased last week after almost four months.

鈥淪he smiled and told me: 鈥楧on鈥檛 worry, I plan to be here for a while yet,鈥 鈥 said Brophy.

Last week, provincial health officer Dr. Bonnie Henry said each resident could receive a scheduled visit by one designated family member in care homes that have a COVID-19 safety plan.

鈥淲e鈥檙e doing it in the most cautious way that we can, knowing that these are the situations where it can be absolutely tragic if the virus is introduced,鈥 Henry said.

On Friday, two new cases of COVID-19 were announced on Vancouver Island, bringing the total to date to 135. Of 187聽COVID-19 deaths in the province, 135 have been in long-term-care residences.

Brophy and her mother, Dot Finnerty, met Friday for their scheduled 45-minute visit in the chapel at Mount St. Mary Hospital in Victoria. The chapel is one of two or three designated meeting spots at the facility, including spots outside.

The visits will take place every two weeks. Before the pandemic, Brophy would visit two to three times a day.

鈥淪he鈥檚 frail and there鈥檚 a sadness I鈥檝e never seen before,鈥 said Brophy. 鈥淵et I鈥檓 not [considered] essential to her well-being.鈥

Brophy is one of a growing number of family members who argue that, barring an outbreak, each resident should be allowed a designated essential visitor to be at a loved one鈥檚 bedside. Essential visitors are mainly staff. Family are generally considered non-essential visitors, a categorization that makes many bristle.

Families have been agitating to see loved ones since transmissions rates of COVID-19 began to flatten in the province.

However, with those visits starting last week, it鈥檚 clear what many really want is to be at their loved one鈥檚 bedside to provide oversight. In Brophy鈥檚 case, she wants to help her mother bathe, style her hair and polish her nails.

鈥淚 only saw her once before, on June 8,鈥 said Brophy. 鈥淚聽was stunned back then how frail she鈥檇 become, but today she was even more so. Not as sparkly and they don鈥檛 do all the personal grooming things I used to. Her hair is unkempt, greasy. Nails are all gross and dirty, which was bothering her.鈥

Despite her dementia and decline, Finnerty could still see the worry in her daughter鈥檚 eyes.

鈥淪he told me to take care of myself,鈥 said Brophy. 鈥淚聽started to cry and again hugged her and told her I loved her and made her promise to be OK and stay healthy.鈥

Finnerty was also able to hold a video chat, albeit confused at times, with her sister Edna Dobie, who turned 102 on Thursday. 鈥淢om exclaimed: 鈥榃ow, that makes me 100.鈥

Brophy also wants to see a public inquiry into long-term care in the province.

She said her mother was in publicly funded Oak Bay Lodge for 鈥22 months and three days" and that was 22 months and three days too long.

Brophy later moved her mother to Mount St. Mary鈥檚 in Victoria, which she said was 鈥渕uch, much better.鈥

Still, like many families on the Island, Brophy maintains that oversight by family members at the bedside is needed citing in many cases poor training and staffing shortages.

Henry has said that while visits could expand and become more frequent, some form of restriction is anticipated to be in place for a year.

鈥淜eeping people safe in those communal living environments is incredibly important,鈥 said Henry, adding the pandemic has exposed vulnerabilities in many long-term care homes, which have staffing challenges and aging infrastructure.

While visitation is an important part of physical and mental health for seniors in care, she said it needs to be done in a measured fashion so the virus isn鈥檛 introduced into a care home again.

sa国际传媒 Health Minister Adrian Dix said restoring visits is important, but the province is trying to be methodical. 鈥淚 understand that people may be concerned now that we鈥檙e having visits that they鈥檙e not sufficient for them and we鈥檙e going to try and reach out and expand that, but it is absolutely essential that that be done in a safe way.鈥

Dix said by the end of the year, all long-term care homes will be providing at least the provincial standard of 3.36 hours of direct care per resident per day on average. Aging infrastructure needs to be renovated or replaced and a new generation of health-care workers needs to be found and trained, especially in direct care to seniors, he said.

鈥淚 think we鈥檝e made significant progress in doing some of these things, some of the actions taken before and during the pandemic, but there is a lot of work left to do and everybody who understands and knows and works in the system or visits loved ones in the system understands that.鈥

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