BILL 54, WHERE ARE YOU? - The epic forced about-face on the HST is just too much for NDP MLAs to handle. The bill restoring the provincial sales tax is such a rich target of opportunity they don't know where to take aim. They've ranged so far afield that the deputy speaker has tried to herd them back to the topic dozens of times.
Some samples: "Member, if I might bring you back to the contents of the bill."
"Member, you're returning to the contents of the bill."
"I'll remind members in their remarks that we're speaking to Bill 54."
"Member, if I can draw you back to the contents of the bill."
One MLA - Bill Routley (Cowichan Valley) - managed to run free for a while, with this eye-blinking imagery:
Recounting the HST follies, he said: " 'We'll go down to Canadian Tire, and we're going to buy the really good windshield wipers, and we're going to tie them to a cow's tail, and at the end of the day, it's all going to work out good.' But all we've got is flipflop, flip-flop -
"Even if they did buy the premium slick, you know, Tefloncoated ones, it's just a bad plan.
"They were telling the good people of sa国际传媒: 'It'll all trickle down. It's all going to trickle back down. It's going to be good.'
"It's kind of like the cow in the field. Maybe, you feed it enough hay, something is going to trickle down. It'll all be good. It's kind of a corporate-cow approach - You stand at the back end and hope something'll trickle down."
POLITICAL THEATRE - The sa国际传媒 legislature made history this week (if obscure parliamentary scheduling issues constitute history) by allowing for a second committee of the house, in order to speed things along. That means MLAs are talking in the actual assembly hall, in the Douglas Fir committee room and the Birch Committee Room. All at the same time.
The legislature has officially become a three-ring circus.
But two of the higher-profile politicians were a bit pouty about being so far from the action. The big house is where all the bright lights and glamour are. The Douglas Fir Room is a step removed.
But the third-floor Birch Room is distinctly off-off-Broadway.
Health Minister Mike de Jong headed up the long, dark stairs joking that he'll be playing community dinner theatres next.
NDP critic Mike Farnworth asked if bottled oxygen will be available, because of the altitude.
A couple of hours into their act, it was clear they're still not quite ready for the River Rock Casino.
MISSING NUMBERS - There's a lot of mixed-message bafflegab coming from the Justice Ministry on whether the government has a clue about how much the federal tough-on-crime omnibus bill will cost provincial taxpayers.
Justice Minster Shirley Bond sidestepped her away around the subject in question period, then deployed an impressive bit of semantic tap dancing to reporters.
First, she spoke about "my reluctance in sharing specific numbers," then moved onto "from my perspective, there is not a definitive cost," and landed on "I'm not interested in speculating about numbers."
"I disagree with the characterization that we're not sharing a number," she added. "There isn't a specific number at this point in time."
But surely you have an estimate, Shirley?
"We've had discussions about what the impacts could potentially be, but we continue to refine that every day."
So there are numbers available after all. But it sounds like Bond won't be sharing them any time soon.
