CHATHAM, Ont. 鈥� Brushing your teeth may be important, but police in Chatham, Ont., would like to remind the public that it鈥檚 not crucial enough to merit a call to 911.
A family dispute about dental hygiene topped the southwestern Ontario force鈥檚 annual list of the dozen most ridiculous emergency calls received during the past year.
The call in question came from a 20-year-old who didn鈥檛 share his dad鈥檚 opinion that regular toothbrushing was a good idea, police said. Officers did manage to persuade the youth to brush his teeth. No word on whether they convinced him to work flossing into his routine.
Second spot on the dirty dozen list went to a woman who called to report being attacked by a duck. After failing to discover any injuries or signs of the duck, police were forced to conclude there were no signs of fowl play.
Third position went to a call from a woman who tried to enlist police assistance to bring her drug dealer in line. The caller objected to the hallucinogens that were being added to her crack supply, police said.
A call accusing a local radio station of spreading erroneous weather reports nabbed fourth place on the list, while fifth spot went to another domestic squabble, this time involving a 13-year-old girl mad at her mom for not letting her do her own laundry.
Other highlights included reports about a suspicious-looking squirrel, a supposed hit-and-run that turned out to be nothing more than an intoxicated fall, and a theft involving a voucher for a free coffee and doughnut at Tim Hortons.
Here鈥檚 the complete list compiled by the Chatham-Kent Police Service:
12. A man attended the police station inquiring whether anyone had turned in his lost dentures. He still had his top teeth, but he was looking for his bottoms.
11. A man called police to report that his unlocked vehicle had been entered. Stolen was a winning doughnut and coffee tab from Tim Hortons. You know you鈥檙e Canadian when 鈥�
10. A man called police to report that two girls damaged his car. However, the evidence indicated that the white substance on the car had been left by birds and not girls.
9. A man called police claiming he had just been struck by a vehicle. The man even provided a full description of the suspect vehicle. Once investigators began sifting through the facts, however, the man finally admitted that due to his intoxication, he had tripped over a trailer hitch in the driveway.
8. A man called 911 to report that there was a squirrel on his front porch acting in a suspicious manner.
7. A man called 911 to report that there was a large snapping turtle on the sidewalk that appeared to be getting ready to jump into traffic.
6. A woman called police to report that she had just been threatened by her downstairs neighbour. Apparently, as the woman was watering her plants, some water dripped down onto her neighbour鈥檚 dog.
5. A 13-year-old youth called police to report that her mother would not allow her to do her own laundry.
4. A man called police in January to complain about the weather report he just heard on a local radio station. They reported 鈥渟light flurries鈥� when in fact he was driving in a 鈥渟nowstorm.鈥�
3. A woman called police to report that her drug dealer was lacing her crack with drugs that caused her to hallucinate and hear voices. She asked police to make him stop doing that.
2. A woman called police to report that she was just attacked by a duck who was now sitting in a puddle watching her. The woman was not injured and officers failed to locate the duck upon their arrival.
1. Police were called to a family dispute between a father and his 20-year-old son. The son called police because his father told him to brush his teeth and he didn鈥檛 want to. Police talked the son into brushing his teeth, thus making the father smile.
