I don’t often discuss books with my friends, but in the past couple of weeks, I’ve had two friends from different cities who don’t know each other share with me how helpful the book How to Keep House While Drowning is.
One friend even purchased it for me and had it delivered to my Audible account.
I like reading and learning, and never feel motivated to stop, sit and read a book, but I love to devour audiobooks. It’s a bit of a life hack for me. I have a talent for remembering most things that are said to me, but my retention level from reading isn’t the same.
I always joke that if my house is spotless, I have work piling up, or if my work is up-to-date, then my house is piling up. I haven’t been able to master both at the same time.
Neither is ever neglected enough to cause problems — it’s more about the unrealistic expectations I have for myself sometimes.
I get caught up in the mindset that everyone around me has everything together, like the families on a sitcom. How to Keep House While Drowning reminded me that they don’t.
This book was shared with me by a friend who is raising a family, caring for aging family members and pets, and dealing with anxiety. The other friend is grieving the recent loss of her father and was introduced to the book by a counsellor.
It’s written for everyone from folks who could benefit from a system to better tidy their homes to be more efficient to those who have a hard time leaving their beds each day, or week.
That put things in perspective for me and let me really understand that having a house that needs a small tidy, or having a sink full of dishes, is not the end of the world.
The author, KC Davis, wrote the book with such compassion that someone at their lowest point would feel validated and empowered, not shamed. This is something we need more of. I am not one to judge other people, but I will judge myself harshly when things aren’t as perfect as I expect myself to be.
I know a book about cleaning your house doesn’t sound like a page-turner, and it isn’t. I don’t anticipate it will be adapted for the big screen, but I have benefited from the messages and mindset.
The big message is about the rest that we all deserve. Davis explains throughout the book that rest isn’t something we earn but something we need. We all need to be able to sit on the couch and binge watch a show, or get outside, or participate in our favourite activities.
That is what we need and deserve to have to be healthy. We don’t earn rest from completing things, the same way you can stop for lunch even if you have more things to do on your list.
Rest looks different for each person — some might prefer a hike, while for others, it’s a nap.
Another big takeaway from the book is that “care tasks” aren’t rest, which includes getting a haircut, shopping for essentials, or other things that need to be done. We often look at those things as a break, but they aren’t. Mind blown.
This weekend is a long weekend. If you are reading this on Sunday, you still have one extra day to rest and recharge. I encourage you to look at rest and enjoyment as essential. You don’t have to earn it — you can have unfinished work or chores, and you still deserve that time.
