A friend and his wife were at a movie recently, saving three seats for friends, in the usual way 鈥� an umbrella on one seat and hats on the others.
There were plenty of empty chairs behind them, but a couple suddenly marched down their row, threw their stuff off the seats and lectured them on their behaviour, saying it was against the rules to save three seats.
Really? So what is the rule? I know you can鈥檛 save eight seats, but can you save one for your partner? Or one extra seat for each of you sitting there? Or 1.5?
Was three really too many? It鈥檚 one of many grey zones we face where we鈥檙e not sure how to behave because there鈥檚 no official rule.
When I visit foreign countries, I can get confused by their customs, so I read a guidebook. But there are times I wish I had a Canadian guidebook to tell me how to behave here. For example:
n When standing in ticket lineups or bus queues, how many people can you let in? Your spouse is OK, but how about a friend who passes by and wants to yak? Two friends? More?
n At supermarkets, should you let someone ahead in the queue because you鈥檝e got 20 items and they鈥檝e just got a lemon? Sometimes, when I鈥檓 just buying a newspaper at a busy till, I hold it up 鈥� and people let me through. But I once let in a guy who just had a Coke 鈥� and he spent five minutes buying lotto tickets.
n My teenage son Daniel faces a dilemma on buses, where he鈥檚 not sure who to offer a seat. How old do people have to be? If he offers one to the wrong person, they sometimes refuse and even look offended, as if he鈥檚 singled them out and shouted: 鈥淵ou鈥檙e old!鈥�
Maybe the elderly should wear stickers saying; 鈥淚 accept seats.鈥� But if you see me in a bus, please don鈥檛 get up 鈥� I鈥檇 rather stand.
n How long can you spend at a bank machine while others wait? Some people bring three months of banking and seem to be running a corporation from the ATM 鈥� using four bank cards to deposit piles of cheques. Is there a maximum time limit, or do you own the machine once you get it?
A while ago, I had loads of banking to do at a single-machine branch, but heard sighs and groans behind me partway through, so I stopped and went to the end of the line. Was I courteous, or a sucker?
It鈥檚 similar when you鈥檙e about to leave a parking spot and another car pulls up to wait 鈥� only you鈥檙e talking on the phone. Should you hang up right away? Or make your chat shorter? Or pay no attention because it鈥檚 still your spot?
Last week, I waited five minutes beside a car that was leaving, as the driver fiddled with the lights, rustled in the glovebox, then made a phone call 鈥� until I gave up and left. This matches a study in the book Traffic that found drivers take longer to leave on average when someone鈥檚 waiting, because their spot has become more valuable.
n A big grey question for many women: Is it OK to use an empty men鈥檚 bathroom when the women鈥檚 has a lineup? I鈥檇 say sure 鈥� there鈥檚 obviously an international women鈥檚 toilet shortage, because the lineups for them at big public venues can be 10 times longer than men鈥檚.
n At a grocery store, if a tomato falls on the ground and rolls around, do you buy it, put it back in the bin or hide it?
Where鈥檚 that guidebook?
听
Josh Freed is a Montreal Gazette columnist.
