Santa is first in line for COVID-19 vaccines, according to Dr. Bonnie Henry.
Governments and chief health officers everywhere have declared Christmas and other midwinter holidays essential, and the Dec. 24 overnight delivery team, like 颅truckers, comprises essential workers.
But beyond negotiating international travel restrictions, who鈥檚 to say Santa hasn鈥檛 experienced his own pandemic challenges this year? If COVID-19 affected Santa鈥檚 颅business, how would that work?
Perhaps something like this:
The Big Guy in the Red Suit announced earlier this month that Business As Usual is not exactly going to proceed As Usual this year. Instead, some gifts to be found under the tree on Dec. 6 or 25 or Jan. 5 will have been sourced and delivered by non-traditional means.
鈥淪anta Inc. respects the public health directives of each country to ensure the health and safety, as well as the happiness, of all Santa believers,鈥� the North Pole agency announced in a recent statement.
鈥淭o this end, we have transitioned some of our gift-sourcing and delivery 颅arrangements so as to help protect everyone everywhere. We would all feel really, really rotten if Santa, Rudolph, Olive and all of the other reindeer were found to be super-spreading vectors that exposed children nestled all snug in their beds, mamas in their kerchiefs, guys with their nightcaps, or anybody else to the virus this holiday season.鈥�
The reason? The season鈥檚 deadly downer, of course, a.k.a. a global pandemic called COVID-19, which has killed more than 1.5 million people worldwide in 2020. It鈥檚 the same reason we鈥檝e had to cancel our own travel plans and in-person holiday-party plans, and why leftovers from the 20-kg turkey/tofurky/turducken we were planning to roast this Friday to feed the entire extended family will last until June.
鈥淧eople who believe in Santa will still see brightly packaged items under the tree and stuffed into their stockings on the morning of December 25,鈥� says Santa Inc. spokesperson Jolie Elf. 鈥淭he best minds at 90掳 N have been hard at work this year to ensure the experience of receiving gifts from Santa remains the same.鈥�
And, indeed, the little ones needn鈥檛 worry, unnamed sources in Santa鈥檚 workshop confirm. This year, the Big Guy has taken lessons from a guy called Bezos. Teams of elves and reindeer 鈥� disguised to blend in 鈥� are managing regional gift depots everywhere and scheduling no-contact, doorstep and fireplace delivery. The pandemic strategy keeps homes, kids, Santa, and so on safe, and it helps to lessen the 11th-hour stress of packing the sleigh in pandemic times.
Santa has also been placing orders with local-to-gift-recipient artisans, manufacturers and suppliers to provide and deliver gifts on his behalf.
Oh, yes, when he鈥檚 good, he鈥檚 very, very good.
鈥淲e recognize local businesses everywhere are suffering this year and need as much custom as they can get,鈥� Elf says.
鈥淭o help support communities and keep people employed, we have drawn on the 颅services of many small businesses to help meet local gift demand.鈥�
It has also taken some of the pressure off the North Pole workshops, which have faced the same shutdowns, restrictions and 颅challenges as everyone else this year, unnamed sources say.
The three-month shutdown at the start of the pandemic created a backlog of orders at the North Pole. And ongoing COVID-related disruptions interfered with the workshop鈥檚 onsite capacity to meet the demand.
Despite rigorous workplace safety plans to minimize risk of the virus鈥檚 spread among Santa鈥檚 little helpers 鈥� despite the entire North Pole worksite being reconfigured to ensure onsite physical distancing, as well as sneeze shields, mask requirements and all workers being tested at the start of every shift 鈥� entire departments closed 颅periodically for weeks at a time when elves or reindeer tested positive for COVID-19.
So who can expect Santa to personally deliver their gifts this year? True Santa believers of a certain age are at the top of his list, Elf says.
Sources also report that Santa felt it important to keep his end up in supporting local cookie and dairy producers.
There are COVID-19 disruptions aplenty this holiday season, but rest assured Santa will deliver 鈥� one way or another.
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
