Lean in. That鈥檚 Sheryl Sandberg鈥檚 buzzword. She鈥檚 the CEO of Facebook 鈥� possibly one of the most inane entities ever invented 鈥� and she is the latest wealthy, powerful woman who, from her comfy perch in the corporate stratosphere, deigns to peer down and tell the rest of us women how to live.
Sandberg鈥檚 new book is titled Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead, while her Lean In foundation urges females to hold lean-in circles, and Sandberg herself complains that women are 鈥減ulling back when they ought to be leaning in.鈥�
With all this leaning, women are starting to resemble the Tower of Pisa. But go ahead and lean in. Then fall over. From exhaustion.
Didn鈥檛 we hear all this stuff back in the 1970s and 1980s?
Women must learn to act like men, they have to push their way into boardrooms, do everything they possibly can to get ahead, earn zillions and spend superhumanly long hours working 鈥� Sandberg checks her office emails at 5 a.m.
She admits she doesn鈥檛 see her kids much. They鈥檙e both under 10, which is a terribly precious time of children鈥檚 lives to let slip through your fingers so as to spend extra hours and energy maniacally clawing your way to the top.
To what end, though? That鈥檚 what puzzles me. In the end, as a friend of mine observed when we discussed it over lunch, Sandberg and anyone who follows her advice will be just as dead as everyone else. And as the late U.S. Senator Paul Tsongas said when he received his cancer diagnosis, nobody ever wishes on their deathbed that they had spent more time at the office.
You cannot have it all; yet Sandberg is trying to con a new generation of young women into thinking they can, and that the race to the top is the only thing that matters. I bought into this briefly when this propaganda was rampant some years ago (it flares up every so often like a recurrence of malaria). Then, my infant son started talking and his first word was not 鈥渕ama鈥� but 鈥淏renda鈥� 鈥� the name of the woman who took care of him while I was working.
That sort of thing kind of jars you back to reality.
Most women have to work to make ends meet. Most women probably don鈥檛 even want to quit work, because they still want to use their talents and abilities and have career satisfaction. Rather, it鈥檚 about adjusting priorities, insisting upon balance and, hopefully, cultivating some serenity.
Sandberg is just another huckster trying to get us women to wear our stress as though it were a badge of honour. Except that it isn鈥檛.
It鈥檚 stress, and over time it will make you ill and then it can literally kill you.
Or, as a counsellor at the Cardiac Wellness Centre told me: 鈥淒on鈥檛 wait for your triple bypass to start doing something about stress.鈥�
Writing on inc.com, Simona Covel says what Sandberg and others who came before her are peddling is 鈥渃areer porn,鈥� which is 鈥渟ome kind of fantasyland solution that appeals to many but applies to very few.鈥�
As is standard with new movements that purport to revolutionize the lives of women who are too tired to show up for the revolution, Sandberg is everywhere. She was on 60 Minutes recently, saying things like, 鈥淧artner with the right person because you cannot have a full career and a full life at home with the children if you are also doing all the housework and child care.鈥�
Sounds like rather than fall in love with a man and marry him, you should interview him for the position, and if he hates cleaning behind the toilet, tell him that only candidates considered for the short list will receive future communications from you.
Sandberg also said on 60 Minutes that she won鈥檛 run for president because she鈥檚 鈥渄oing all the leaning in I can do right now.鈥�
So are the rest of us, Sheryl, and if we try to follow your advice instead of doing what鈥檚 best for ourselves, we鈥檙e in danger of toppling over.
