NEW YORK (AP) 鈥� We all know the stressors: Social obligations. Family discord. Political rifts. Financial stress. And the desire to stay cheery and big-hearted throughout.
So here's a reminder about how to banish your inner perfectionist and truly enjoy the holiday season:
鈥淚t really helps to let go of some of the 鈥榮houlds鈥�,鈥� says Lynn F. Bufka, head of practice for the American Psychological Association. 鈥淒ecide on the one thing that matters most, and the things that bring you the most joy, and let go of other things."
Traditions can shift and change, and the more flexible things are the easier it is for everybody, Bufka says.
鈥淔ocus your energy on creating a warm space for the people you love to gather and relax, catch up and celebrate one another. That鈥檚 literally all that matters," agrees Lauren Iannotti, editor in chief of Real Simple.
Some tips:
Throw yourself into the parts of the holiday that make you happy
You could decide that conversation is your main goal, and not worry at all about the decor, says Bufka. Or if table decoration is what you love, spend your energy there and don鈥檛 worry as much about other aspects.
鈥淚deally, it should be about focusing on love, and that doesn鈥檛 mean the same thing to everyone,鈥� says Bufka.
Don't hesitate to outsource some of that other stuff.
鈥淧eople want to help 鈥� let them!" says Iannotti. 鈥淚f you don鈥檛 LOVE cooking all those sides, or are strapped for time, there is zero shame in accepting your sister鈥檚 offer to do the stuffing. Or enlist help from the pros 鈥� support a local restaurant by ordering some catering platters.鈥�
A potluck can be your friend.
鈥淗ave everyone bring one signature dish," says Ianotti. 鈥淵ou鈥檒l save time and money on prep and cooking and your guests can show off their skills.鈥�
Give yourself permission to cut corners
鈥淚t鈥檚 OK if the house is a little messy or dinner is on the table a few minutes late," says Iannotti. 鈥淚f the people you鈥檝e invited are more interested in grading your performance than having a good time, they can take that up with their therapist to sort through.鈥�
(They鈥檙e not, by the way 鈥� 鈥渟omething to maybe take up with your therapist,鈥� she adds.)
And don't hesitate to let people help themselves, when possible. 鈥淚f you don鈥檛 have time to play bartender, create a signature drink ahead of time that can serve all of your guests. You can also just leave out a few mixers so guests can serve themselves and make their own creations,鈥� suggests Caroline Utz, editorial and strategy director at The Spruce.
It's OK to step away for alone time
Things will run well enough if you're not overseeing it all, so take care of yourself. Take breathers or walks if that helps you stay centered.
鈥淎lthough mindfulness is becoming an overused term in society today, there is something of value we can take from this and apply to the holiday season,鈥� says Brook Choulet, a concierge sports and performance psychiatrist and founder of Choulet Performance Psychiatry.
She recommends 鈥渟cheduling intentional micro-breaks" to do something you enjoy.
鈥淔or example, you may schedule a phone call with a friend out of state, take a 15-minute walk outside, or even set the timer and take a 15-minute bath uninterrupted,鈥� she said.
Expect some discord, and don't get freaked about it
鈥淚f you鈥檙e worried about the polarization and getting into uncomfortable conversations, try to think about ways you can end a conversation, or shift it in another direction,鈥� Bufka says.
She recommends preparing a few lines in advance to help end the conversation or shift it in another direction.
So, aiming for a less-than-perfect holiday season may just be the sweet spot.
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New York-based writer Katherine Roth covers Lifestyles and other topics regularly for the AP.
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Katherine Roth, The Associated Press
