Dear Lisi: I met a woman at a dinner party recently. She was sitting on my left with her husband on her other side. I was there with my sister, as we’re both friends with the host.
There were three farm-style tables, with about a dozen people at each, so it was a big dinner party. The host had a woman in mind for me to meet, but didn’t want it to be too obvious so sat her at a different table. The plan was to move around at dessert, and that’s when I would sit with her.
In the meantime, the woman sitting next to me proceeded to drink several glasses of wine. She asked how I came to be at the party, told me how she knew the hostess, asked about the woman sitting next to me, and then started to tell me about herself.
She went on and on about her husband who, in her opinion, was the nicest, kindest man in the world. Of everyone at the party, he was the best man there. They had been married 25 years and she was enamoured. She commented how he took such good care of her and their three children.
At first, I thought it was so nice that she spoke of her husband with such admiration and affection, but the longer she spoke to me, the closer she leaned in, and at one point, put her hand on my thigh, higher than was comfortable. I excused myself to use the washroom. But when I came back, I think she had drunk another glass, was leaning in closer, and touched my thigh again.
How does a person talk so highly of their spouse but then flirt with another?
Confusing Conversation
Alcohol consumption causes many people to have loose lips, as well as letting down their guard, and behaving in ways they normally wouldn’t as it affects the part of your brain that controls inhibition.
This woman was talking openly about her beloved, but inappropriately expressing her attraction to you. Not a good look. Let it be a life lesson and move on. You’ll never see her again.
Reader’s Commentary For the new “grossed out” mom (Aug. 1):
“I read her account with amusement and empathy.
“When our son was 11 months old (he’s 39 now), we took a vacation to Cancun, Mexico. On our return flight to Denver, our plane was delayed in Houston because of a blizzard. My wife and her parents proceeded to explore the airport while I was left with my son.
“As you can imagine, THE VERY WORST happened to him. We hadn’t been expecting the layover, so while I had clean diapers for him, clothing choices were nil.
“I took him into the men’s room. At the time, there were no changing tables in men’s rooms in airports. I ended up in a toilet stall, scrubbing him down with toilet paper, then dipping him repeatedly in the toilet while flushing between dunks. I finally got him feces-free, but his onesie was an absolute disaster.
“Consequently, I ended up dipping his onesie repeatedly while flushing furiously. Meanwhile, businessmen in suits were scurrying past our stall gagging; some even made a U-turn and went looking for another restroom.
“Then I proceeded to dry the onesie in one of the hand-dryers. You can imagine the stench. I’m surprised the Environmental Protection Agency didn’t declare the Houston airport a superfund cleanup site.
“We eventually got home to Denver, and The Offspring eventually became toilet trained.
“I’m sure anyone who has ever been a parent has equally horrific stories of the Early Years. In the meantime, I extend my deepest sympathy to the poor mom who must navigate these months with an environmental waste polluter.”
FEEDBACK Regarding the 75-year-old looking to retire (July 31):
Reader #1 – “This woman doesn’t owe anyone anything. No one is indispensable. She owes it to herself to retire now and do what she wants with the years remaining. Anything could happen health wise, and she may never have a chance to enjoy her retirement.”
Reader #2 – “As a retired 75-year-old, this woman has found herself surrounded by selfish idiots who resent her wish to take a step she was entitled to take many years ago.
“Their attitude is simply abusive. In particular, the boss who wants her to keep working for another decade to suit his convenience.
“Your reply acknowledges the problem correctly. She owes her boss proper notice by the standards of the job, but that’s more like three months than three years. She should be encouraged to pull the plug before she finds herself working past her life expectancy.”
Lisi Tesher is an advice columnist based in Toronto. Send your relationship questions to [email protected].
