Dear Lisi: New neighbours recently moved in across the road. They’re a young couple with a dog, and she was very pregnant. I didn’t see them much over the summer, other than when we had to knock on their door to complain about various issues.
The first was garbage, which they put out in bags instead of bins. Not surprisingly, the raccoons got in and made a mess. We thought they would clean it up, but by the end of the day, we had to ask them to do so. This happened about three times before they finally got bins.
The second was a noise and mess issue from landscaping and construction. Their workers would start at 7 a.m. every day of the week, which isn’t allowed where we live, and work well past 7 p.m. Plus, they would leave their mess, blocking the sidewalk, taking up limited street parking and generally creating an unpleasant environment for the surrounding neighbours.
Now I see her walking down the street, chatting loudly on the phone, while a nanny trails behind her pushing a stroller and holding the dog’s leash.
Are these people just extremely entitled millennials?
Neighbours
In a word, maybe. But those two words don’t have to go together as a label. These people are, by age definition, millennials. And, from your description, they also sound entitled. But not ALL millennials are entitled, and not all those who are entitled are millennials. You get what I’m saying?
If you’re so inclined, you could pop over with a small baby gift, welcoming them officially to the neighbourhood. Maybe they’re just unaware of how things are done because no one taught them. Maybe she had a tough delivery and isn’t allowed to push the stroller or walk the dog. Maybe no one mentioned the bylaws to them.
Give them the benefit of the doubt by being generous of spirit. You may be pleasantly surprised. Or not.
Reader’s Commentary Regarding the 75-year-old ready to retire (July 31):
“My sister thinks she should give her employer six months’ notice. Tell the family to buy her house at fair market value. She already found a new place with a garden, so why wait? She works from home so she can move and keep working.
“Here’s my take: I met my hubby in 1990; I was 39, he was 40. It was my first marriage, his second, and he had an eight-year-old daughter.
“We are both union activists and strong feminists. He was unhappy in his last job, which lasted 10 years. His employer matched his contribution to an RRSP up to $5,000, so we saved and deposited the maximum annually. By 50, he was quite unhappy at his work; I had a good federal position with benefits so we decided he would cook, take care of the house, our rental house, and retire.
“I worked until age 56. He has no pension. We are now 74 and 75 and both have had some health issues. He had cancer two years ago.
“In 2010 we did a major trip to Southeast Asia for three and a half months. We even went to Australia. And before COVID, we had done three repositioning cruises, one that lasted six weeks.
“When we met, we each had a house, so we sold his, rented out mine and upgraded to a great house in a great area, on a cul-de-sac with a large yard.
“We see this woman, age 75, and we think she should go for it while she’s active and healthy. Her boss seems more concerned about his own future. She does not owe him at all, especially after working for him for 35 years. Has he provided any kind of pension benefit? What about a severance package?
“We say…. go for it.”
Dear Lisi: About a year ago, a young woman started working with me in my online business. We lived close to one another, so met twice a week to discuss strategy in person, then spent about two hours daily online working. She was great to work with, fun, personable, and very effective.
Then one day, she didn’t log on. I called, texted, emailed, but nothing resulted in a response. I walked over to her house, knocked and rang, nothing. Starting to worry, I walked around and peered in the windows. Empty!
What makes a person just up and leave without a mention?
In the dark
That sounds straight out of a movie and witness protection. You could file a missing person’s report with the police, ask neighbours, local businesses, keep reaching out. I don’t know if you’ll ever have an answer…. I’m sorry.
Lisi Tesher is an advice columnist based in Toronto. Send your relationship questions to [email protected].
